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Terrain Collective Inc
2625 28th St. #110
Boulder, CO 80301

303.953.8620
we@pockitudes.com


P.O. Box 19551

Asheville, NC 28815-1551
USA

A Pockitude™ is a gratitude recorded in a pocket-sized journal. It’s choosing to focus on the better things, the things that remind you why it’s great to be alive. We all need consistent reminders of the good things, and writing them down as you see them is a great tool in your arsenal. The Pockitudes™ journal fits in your pockets and purses, so you can record your gratitudes as they come to you.

With a quick jot, you get a monumental shift on your outlook in life. We encourage you to write your gratitudes for just two weeks. See for yourself the benefits. See for yourself the change in your attitude. See for yourself how you will begin to discover the good in things, people, and places.

Join the happiness movement.

 

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A Pockitude™ is a gratitude recorded in a pocket-sized journal. It’s choosing to focus on the better things, the things that remind you why it’s great to be alive. See for yourself the change in your attitude, and how you will begin to discover the good in things, people, and places. With a quick jot, you get a shift in your attitude. 

Filtering by Tag: grateful

The Joy List

Frederic Terral

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What does joy feel like? The joy that grips and electrifies us from the inside, when all the right sensory conditions merge to create bliss, elatedness, even ecstasy. Joy is manifested by the purity of feeling—feeling freedom, weightlessness and love for what we are experiencing. Joy holds us in the arms of lightness and laughter, reminding us the reasons we want to be alive. Joy is a gift given to us by the miraculous existence of this breathing body built to feel joy and pleasure just as it’s built to feel sadness or pain. So how do we find joy when we need it the most, without addictive substances, without desperation or dependency on something that in the end doesn’t serve us? How do we make joy so accessible, it becomes part of our daily rituals? How about making a Joy List?

It’s almost too simple. Try it. Right now. Write a list of all the things that bring you joy (in your Pockitudes gratitude journal ;-). You can even categorize your list. Joy in the home, Joy outside of the home. Joy with friends, Joy with family. Joy that costs money. Joy that is free. Spontaneous Joy. Joy that needs to be planned ahead. Joy I need to experience!! Whatever!!

Off the top of my head, here is a short list of my current joys:

  1. Hiking in the woods alongside a creek or river, listening to nature without distraction

  2. Laughing and connecting with friends

  3. Moving my body to music, in dance class, or anywhere else

  4. Teaching Dance

  5. Celebrating birthdays

  6. Walking barefoot in soft grass

  7. Seeing wild animals/creatures in my backyard (like fireflies in the summer)

  8. Making my husband and/or children laugh

  9. Going to a music concert of one of my favorite groups

  10. Puppies and kittens

  11. Cooking together with the family

  12. Improv comedy shows

  13. Bali!! Haven’t been yet but it’s on the list!

Your list will change, and hopefully it will grow. Use this list as a go to on a rainy or sad day. Use this list to change your life and make joy a priority.

PS. A joy list = gratitude list :-). More joy = more gratitude.

FIN.
by Misa Terral

My Anger, My Teacher

Frederic Terral

Photo by   Alexandro David   from   Pexels

My anger, my most prolific teacher. In my mind, no other emotion exposes my hidden truth more than anger. Anger, in all its fury, is powerful enough to turn us into something we are not, clandestine enough to hide and fester in our subconscious, and intense enough to bring explosive and destructive consequences, causing more shame, regret, pain, and grief. At the same time, anger can be a driver for action and change, a protector, a boundary defender, and a portal—a key to our shadowy, inner pain and memory that we may not even realize we have.

The two faces of anger. How do I tell the difference between these two faces of anger? Consequences. Do the consequences of my anger exert aggressive power over, crush or create fear in something or someone? Does it cause shame or pain in the aftermath? Or is the consequence constructive, expressive of boundaries, strengthening resolve with reason and accountability? In this kind of anger, there is no shame, but vulnerability and growth, even healing. We have courage to speak our truth and lay out our boundary with conscious awareness of how our words fall on the other person. Can we be firm without bullying, strong without overpowering, and have conviction without the need to be right. When I finally started paying attention, and with the help of my incredible loved ones, it became very clear when my anger was more harmful than good. With awareness, cultivation, practice and a deep commitment to action, anger became a a messenger, showing me time and again which face of anger I didn’t want to be. I was pushed to get curious about my anger’s purpose, how to ask for what I needed, how to express myself without defaulting to rage, and more importantly, how to stay with the process, not run or hide from it.

The art of the PAUSE button. One of the most difficult lessons I’ve learned (and am still practicing) from anger is the art of the PAUSE button. In the heat of anger’s appearance, the moment I am triggered, the moment I feel the rage rising up from my chest to my throat and face, I MUST pause. In Jill Bolte Taylor’s book she talks about the 90 seconds it takes for the chemicals of a stress reaction to disperse through our body. This is fight or flight. You can actually feel this move through your body if you lean in close and feel. After the 90 seconds have passed, the emotions left behind like fear or anger, are something we CAN control. Hence, the pause button. The counting to 10 slowly. The three deep breaths. The short walk from wherever you are to somewhere else. No split second reaction, no words to fly out of my mouth, nothing.

The most compassionate question you can ask yourself. What do I need right now?With this one self-compassionate question, I have learned to look upon my anger with kindness, soften my eyes and know, this is not who I am, but there is something I’m missing to feel balanced and whole. Sometimes the answers to why I am angry don’t come right away. Sometimes the reasons that trigger my anger feel absolutely justified, but in that moment I know I need to shift, nurture, and take care of myself. When I take care of myself, I take care of everyone around me. In the car, that means pull over if I can, take a deep breath, say a forgiveness prayer, a gratitude prayer, the Ho'oponopono prayer or play a song that soothes. At home that means, going outside, standing in front of my altar, or sitting in stillness. In relationships, feeling triggered means naming it before going any further. Say “ I’m triggered, I need to stop and breathe, I don’t want to lose control. “ This is the hardest piece. It will take practice. It will take making mistakes. It will take patience, compassion and forgiveness.

“What other people think of you is not your business. If you start to make that business your business, you will be offended for the rest of your life.” ~Deepak Chopra

The portal to exposure. Ultimately, anger has taught me that more than anything I want to feel heard, valued, loved, cared for, and safe. Part of our healing and education is learning not everyone can give this to us. nor should they. Anger shows me that I cannot control everything or anyone, and perhaps my expectations are what need to change. Anger also reminds me that I carry more grief than I realize, and to be gentle with that grief. If anger keeps showing up, I might ask what do I need to surrender? Does forgiveness need to happen? What is really chipping away at my spirit, how do I voice what I need without causing damage, and what balm can I use to soothe and heal? These are some truths anger can reveal if we are wiling to be vulnerable enough to really look at ourselves. When we get curious about our feelings, dig under the iceberg as I’ve heard Brené Brown once describe it, this is our first step towards healing, change, and even gratitude. Here would be a good place to say that I began reading Brené Brown over five years ago, and she was integral in helping me look at my anger, and I am grateful to her and her work.

I can say with full certainty that my relationship with anger has evolved, leading me to know myself better, inviting more self care, more courage to dig deeper, more vulnerability, more self compassion, more deep breaths, more time with what soothes me, more patience, more joy and more laughter. And I am witnessing, the more I do these things for myself, the less volatile I’ve become, and the more I am able to hold and reflect the same compassion for others when they sit in their own anger.

With practice, we can re-wire our brains. We can forgive ourselves and others. Healing is not an external event. Healing is internal and will always begin with us saying “Yes, I can pause. I can pay attention, I can re-learn and I can forgive.”

by Misa Terral

REMEMBER

Frederic Terral

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We are so imperfect, still just kids really, making mistakes which leave us scratching our heads thinking....haven’t we been here before? Somewhere along the line we were sold an idea that happiness can be measured in milestones, money, accomplishments and accolades. For authentic happiness, there is no such thing. Such things can bring entitlement, such things can bring expectation, harsh self judgement--and hence harsh judgement of others. Such things can give the illusion of control and such things can bring the word “deserve” into play.

And so, we have since crumpled up that idea knowing that we are promised nothing. We began to ask, what is our true purpose and work then? What makes us feel alive? We work hard, we try our best, we breathe in life and exhale experience. True, unfettered aliveness, laced with wildness in its most vibrant and ecstatic sense, cannot exist without the challenges of loss and setbacks.

From moment to moment, we seek grace, we honor intention, we live with love, knowing we are going to screw up again at any minute, only to score big the next. We do the best we can. We just have to remember, we all are doing the best we can. Pockitudes was born out of this need to remember. We forget so easily, we have limited memory, we have limited time.

We just have to remember to be kind. We just have to remember that relationships, nature, experiences, and the tiniest victories, serve to bring us closer to our truest, most soulful, grateful selves. Gratitude keeps us going. Gratitude keeps us remembering. Gratitude keeps us kind, patient, present. Gratitude keeps us doing the very best we can.

CONFESSIONS & THREE TRUTHS

Frederic Terral

Confession. I don’t exercise regularly. I can curse like a truck driver. I don’t meditate, I hate to clean and I am not an inspired cook. I order Domino’s pizza, and I eat way too much chocolate every day. The truth is, I deplore the mask of perfection. DEPLORE it. Give me the real, beautifully messy and wild, out-of-the-box, spontaneous, passionately authentic person and I’ll show you someone who lives their truth, someone who’s a breath of fresh air. A person who’s not afraid to say “please forgive me but I can’t”, “I effed up”, “I don’t know”, and “I forgot”.

Truth #1: Gratitude becomes less and less effort when we are vulnerable and authentic about who we are, and accept who we are NOT.

Truth #2: Cultivating gratitude means forgiving ourselves and taking a hard look at the parts we ignore, hide, or deny, and the parts we aren't proud of. Knowing these parts can help us figure out who we want to become.

Truth #3: Living a grateful life becomes easier when judgement falls away, for ourselves and then for others. When this happens, we build resilience and soon DON'T CARE about being judged, and instead feel compassion and forgiveness for those who judge us.

 Life lessons come in small pieces, like bread crumbs spread over years, perhaps even lifetimes. Sometimes we have to relearn those pieces over and again. The bottom line is we seek truth, always. Truth in ourselves, truth in others, truth in purpose, truth in vision. When we find truth, gratitude is right there beside it, waiting to be snatched up. Always do your best, knowing that your best may never be perfect, and that's perfectly okay.

Exhale and the Life Preserver.

Frederic Terral

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I stopped telling my kids that all I want for them is to be happy. Happy is great, happy has been the long held standard for a satisfactory life. As long as we are happy, all is well. I call BS on that. I’ve been happy plenty of times, and I love it when I’m happy, but happy is fleeting, and like most wonderful things, aren’t meant to last. I want to teach my kids what to do when happy isn’t available, when things just suck and we are trying to survive a mess of a day. What I tell them is Exhale, and Thank you.

There are all kinds of breathing techniques to help anxiety, or anger, but for me, it’s the exhale I long for. The extended, exaggerated, vocal exhale that releases me. We do it subconsciously with sighs, a semi-muted expression of discomfort. Forget the sighs. Bring on the guttural flow of carbon dioxide. Exhale the nasty, exhale the yuck, exhale the sad madness of it all. And then, and here’s where it really counts-- say “thank you”. Thank you sun, thank you breath, thank you end of the day, thank you pillow, thank you stars, thank you sunset. Thank you for life lived another day. Thank you for reminding me that if I can make it through days without happy, I can make it through anything. Gratitude is the life preserver that keeps us above the water, keeps us moving, just long enough until happy circles back around again.

Gratitude, what it takes.

Frederic Terral

Saying thank you always makes me happy. The driver who takes me home, the 'mama mboga' at the market, the supermarket attendant who serves me; I say thank you to them all. The one thing that gives me joy and satisfaction in this life is showing gratitude. It isn't about what I get in return, it is about what I experience as a person.

Good morning dear. Thank you for coming into my life, for being my pillar, my friend and much more. I hope you continue to stay there. I love you ~ Ed Moraa

I was left speechless after reading this, it isn't everyday someone appreciates me to this extent. I felt special, I am special. Maybe I haven't appreciated you until now, here it is, thank you for reading my posts each time I publish. Thank you for being my audience, thank you for being my invisible friend, thank you for being my family. Thank you for being in my life.

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I skeptically tried practicing gratitude. It completely changed my life.

Frederic Terral

A few years back I worked in a university building that also housed an entire department full of psychologists, all of whom seemed to see us administrative types as perfect guinea pigs for their latest theories. I learned to be wary of answering seemingly casual questions in the elevator. If an eager graduate student showed up in my office bearing a tray of pastries and asked me to pick one, I'd cast a chary glance and ask "Why?" before grabbing the apple fritter.

So one day, when someone from the Psychology Department posted instructions in the bathroom exhorting all of us to "Think about five things for which you're grateful every day for a week!" my response was frankly suspicious. I did the math. Five things a day for seven days is a lot of brainpower to expend without so much as the promise of an apple fritter.

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The 31 Benefits of Gratitude You Didn’t Know About: How Gratitude Can Change Your Life

Frederic Terral

Gratitude makes us happier.

A five-minute a day gratitude journal can increase your long-term well-being by more than 10 percent. That’s the same impact as doubling your income! How can a free five minute activity compare? Gratitude improves our health, relationships, emotions, personality, and career. Sure, having more money can be pretty awesome, but because of hedonic adaptation we quickly get used to it and stop having as much fun and happiness as we did at first.

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How to practice gratitude

Frederic Terral

Gratitude, or appreciation for the good things that happen in life, is an essential part of building happiness. When you’re going through a tough time it can be hard to remember to be grateful for the good stuff, but there are a stack of benefits that can be gained from working gratitude into your everyday life. Find out more about ways to increase your gratitude and your awareness of things you can be grateful for.

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Expressing gratitude makes us healthier

Frederic Terral

Gratitude journals, #grateful quotes, appreciation lists, oh my! Expressing gratitude seems to be a growing trend right now, but are these seemingly small practices of expressing gratitude enough to have an impact on our overall well-being?

New research by Stephen Yoshimura and Kassandra Berzins for the National Communication Association’s Review of Communication shows that, “Gratitude consistently associates with many positive social, psychological, and health states, such as an increased likelihood of helping others, optimism, exercise, and reduced reports of physical symptoms.”

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